While doing some research for my new book Start with Vision, I reached out to a few women who have taken my program over the years. Jessica Velasco's story, which you will find below, really hit home. We must all look back to realize what was instilled in us by our history regarding where we belong in the world and where we have a right to be. Somewhere in the recesses of our minds, we can often be limited by fear—fear our parents had, imposter syndrome of being discovered as the 'less than' person that one stupid teacher made us think we were in the third grade, and the list goes on.
The tenet of courage, which is part of my philosophy around setting your vision and using my seven tenets to get you to that pot of gold on the horizon, is perhaps the one that is most freeing. Not needing others to say it's okay, or even to tell you that you are on the right path, is such a gift—such a lighter load to carry as you move toward where you wish to go. But also recognizing who you do need to listen to, who will help you get there and uncover things you haven't thought of, is part of it as well. Who matters and who doesn't ... and recognizing in the end, you are the one who must have the courage to take the risks and stick to a course of action you call your own.
I think Jessica's use of Courage and Relationships is the perfect combination. September is around the corner. Back-to-school mentalities give us fresh starts. Take some time this month to consider your own history and whether it's holding you back or inspiring you, as well as garnering your courage and clarity around who is in your inner circle.
--Leslie Grossman
I took Leslie Grossman's Her Circle Leadership program focused on setting a vision and understanding the tenets needed to make that vision a reality. It set the stage for everything I've done since.
Determining my vision first helped me see that the vision was so far outside my box of safety that I needed to overcome my limiting beliefs before I could get started. It was all about the tenet of "Courage." Courage in getting "comfortable with being uncomfortable," a message Leslie repeatedly emphasized.
As a second-generation child of immigrants, I had a survival mindset that left me stuck. I was living life by doing only what I was comfortable with, following my parents' definition of “success,” and seeking approval from others. Little did I know that these thought processes were limiting me. For the first time, I took a big risk and chose to believe in myself. The first step was creating my vision for my future and the impact I wanted to make. This allowed me to see a larger future for myself. Then I had to set the course for how to get there. All of that led me to do what I am doing now. I started my own business as a leadership coach, with a focus on women, particularly first and second-generation immigrant women like myself. My vision is to "create an inclusive society where people of color thrive and rest in their personal and professional lives." Through my time with Leslie, I began to believe in myself, and by coaching members of our HCL cohort, I began to realize that "I am a coach."
I began to strengthen my growth mindset, an important tenet in the program, and have incorporated many new options in what I offer my core group of customers. Even when imposter syndrome arises, as it does for most of us, I can shift out of it with a mindset change.
A little more about that mindset shift from my cultural DNA: My parents believed that all that mattered was keeping their heads above water by having a steady job and living a life with a 9-5 grind, living without taking up space. Others deserved center stage. We were lucky to be in the theater at all. That mindset, which became mine, stopped them from considering a life outside of work or from starting a business of their own. The goal was just to make sure you have enough to live.
I broke that cycle and now, on most days, I know that I have a right to design my own business and be the curator of a happy life. I know now that I am a courageous woman, and when fear shows up, I question where it comes from rather than let it direct me. Does it come from my mother? My friend? My aunt? I learned that it's not my voice being fearful;
it's their voices that make me feel that way.
Realizing this has made me aware of how important it is to surround ourselves with people who will support us, without fear of what might happen. These are my inner circle—the ones I spend the most time with. I've learned to let go of people who hold me back—they may still be in my life, but they are no longer in my inner circle. It was quite difficult to let them go at first, but over time, I've learned that you can't always bring along people who are not ready for that growth. It's a continuous process of learning, but there's huge value in putting yourself first.
A note on the relationship tenet: A key part of my growth has been understanding how important relationships are for success. I joined several organizations and took courses, all the while expanding my sphere of influence and carefully selecting those I want to influence me. While they all represent different circles in my life, only certain people from those groups become part of my inner circle. I co-created the Miami chapter of ACENextGen, an Asian American, Pacific Islander group of entrepreneurs, have an ongoing co-working accountability group with fellow women business owners, and joined the Miami Sound Space Choir—an inclusive, non-denominational choir where I'm part of something bigger than myself, while finding connection and community in the city of Miami. Not every circle is about making money and finding clients; there are many circles making up the enormous life I now lead.
– Jessica Araneta Velasco
Learn more about Jessica: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jess-a-velasco/
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Upcoming Programs with Leslie Grossman
GWU's Executive Women's Leadership Program
Presented by
Inner Circle Founder Leslie Grossman
Oct 16, 2024, 7:00 AM EDT
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This program provides participants with transformational communication skills, executive presence, and powerful leadership strategies while transforming mindset and behaviors that may hold women back from both contributing fully and moving up in the organization.
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